Taiwan pre-wedding photoshoot experience

Every girl wants to look their best in their pre-wedding photoshoot, because hopefully that would be THE one for us. The pre-wedding shoots have been haunting me since last year as we plan and fret about where, when and which bridal studio to go to. We've scanned through websites upon websites of bridal studio, packages, and pics to determine which bridal studio would suit us and our love story. I've mailed photographers for availability dates, bridal studio for packages and friends for suggestions countless times. There are soo many choices out there, I believe my eyes have gone crossed during the search. But after a while, the pics look quite repetitive and I knew we had to make a decision soon. 

 Some of the criteria that we looked for was credibility, style, cost and mannerism of the establishment. Credibility in terms of delivery of service, if they say they can deliver by one month then by all means they should deliver by 1 month, give or take a week. And if we have specified that we would not like our pictures to be used for their advertisement purposes, they better respect our decisions because we paid for the shoots. (This is so important! A lot of studio let us sign a paper on whether they can use our pics for their personal and public use and we specified no, and they still do. We just had to be more thick skin and request them to take it down immediately. But that taints their credibility.) Second of all, style. Every self-proclaimed artists have their preferred style because that is how they perceive the world. And it will be so much more easier if both of you connect at certain wavelength, I don't think you will regret. Third of all, mannerism. Marriage should be one of the most happiest and important day of a bride and groom's life. And it is important that the photographer and/or makeup artist do not pull you down. So what if you have extra pimples, freckles, fat or you wanted a different style of shoots, they should be professional to recognize these needs and address you with respect and a smile. I have heard horror stories of a friend who had a beautiful album but was so frustrated with the delivery time and that establishment's attitude. And last but not least, cost la~! It would be pointless to talk about anything without knowing the price tag, k? lol... 

And that was one of the main reason why we chose to do our pre-wedding shoot in Taiwan, not our hometown and not Perth. Perth has its beautiful sceneries nonetheless but the price is really over the top. We experimented with a indoor shoot last year and it was so expensive for such average work, I really do not wish to reveal the price. The worst thing was that it is like ordering a'la carte... so ... expensive... and does not include make up and dress hire. So I'd imagine it is pretty lucrative business here. Whereas Miri ar? Let's be honest, the polluted beach doesn't really appeal to me. Then haters go comment about forgetting my roots and rubbish things like that, I would think, 'elo... photo album nia ma, I can take whatever pics I want, ok? no need to make it like I sell my soul or my country. wth?' Haters would always be haters. #haters So Taiwan was like a pretty match up between the two, beautiful sceneries at affordable price plus we can travel and play at the same time! 

Had my manicure done before the flight

I was so excited and nervous before the trip. I had my manicure done just because~! :P It was actually a lame way of trying to make myself more presentable after I neglected good exercise and my diet for the better of 2 months. Luckily I lost my appetite one week before the photoshoot. 

After 10 hours of flight and 2 hours of transit in Singapore, we finally touched down with aching buttocks~!

We had the arranged photoshoot in the beautiful natural scene of Sun Moon Lake, so they arranged accommodation for us in the beautiful town of Puli which is a 2 hours drive from the main Taipei airport. By then, I have mastered the shameless method of sleeping with my mouth open. Shameless, indeed. 

I can't start to describe the kind of feeling you get when you drive through fields of vegetation. You know... apart from sleepy that is. It is so peaceful and beautiful, it really reminded me of the song Jay chow once sang. 

One thing Taiwan is renown for should be their home-stay (民宿). I call them bed and breakfast. The place is very homey and full of character, like the one that we had the chance to stay. The owners practically designed and constructed most of the furniture and the building itself. So amazing~! You probably won't find swimming pools, spa, Jacuzzi or an open bar but you will be surrounded by the calming effects of the crickets, priceless view of the greenery and large spacious room space at affordable price~! 

Our room looks out to the restaurant and a priceless view of the hills (at night)

The hand made furniture in the room

Our room for the next few days... not sure why there are 2 beds?

 

The frontal view from our room (in the morning)

When I walked out of my room, I get the feeling of home. I was instantly surrounded by the owner's cat and dog. No different than mine at home. 

The view of their villa 

This is happy me before I regret the short attire, the mozzie bites appear to haunt me like chicken pox all over my body...

Okie, one reminder to those who are going to those places though, don't ever ever forget your insect repellant, long sleeve and long pants!! Having lived so happily in Oz, I regret to say I forgot the pain of mozzie bites. So I suffered tremendously from the mozzie bites. Well, in my defense, it is supposed to be summer in Taiwan~! Summer --> heat --> hot --> short... 

 

Pretty wildlife

But I forgot to double check the weather forecast like days before the travel, which is like what a SMART traveler would do!! The horror when I was in the airport and I heard over the news that Taiwan is hit by torrential rain resulting in floods, erosion, schools being shut down and all the horrors... T.T And that is one of the danger of doing overseas photoshoot, you can't predict natural disasters. And it pretty much rained the whole first day we were there while I tried on wedding gowns. Btw, because we need the wedding gowns the very next day, they didn't have time to tailor the dresses to my size so they had to use an ugly safety pin to hold it up from the back. (Hey, I don't need to lose weight after all~!) Definitely need to photoshop those out~! But the next day, it miraculously stopped raining just enough till 3pm for us to go out and have our outdoor photoshoot!!

Xi~!

Prepping and dressing up... 

I was so shy during dressing up, I was so grateful that the makeup artist and the stylist were so considerate and nice to me. I practically cringed when they told me to change into the other dresses in the van while other cars zoom passed. Okie la, they didn't see a thing, ok? Got technique de! lol... And they made me wear a tiara~! So adorable~! 

Catching some shut eye as we progress through the day... 

And the taiwanese we bumped into along the way was so friendly~! A man actually offered his cute poodle for the photoshoot, and we got a nice bicycle from a passerby for the photoshoot... that was like so random!! We even got a chance to take pics on a yatch~! The boss was like convinced that marrying couple would bring luck to him so he was so enthusiastic to have us on board. 

Then we were able to collect the pictures in softcopy format from them the very next day. It was a great experience overall. Most couples who choose to do their wedding photoshoot in Taiwan choose to do it Taipei, which has beautiful manicured parks and handsome architectures. But we decided on more natural scenery like sun moon lake because more #hipster ma~! lol... : P Actually the more hipster method is not to do it since everyone is doing it, so I dare you to... lol...

Tales of Depression (1)

Taylor Swift - Eyes Open - www.SongsLover.com

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I once heard that everybody struggle through their every day lives. And it is through our struggle that we connect to one another. Not everyone can taste the sweet fruit of success and not everyone can stay at the peak performance every single day. Even on a road, we will face speed bumps, potholes and steep incline, what more to say our lives. Throughout the duration of our struggle, some may beat all the odds and rise like a phoenix from ashes while some may succumb to depression.

Depression is a very debilitating state of mind. Because even when we have our health, our fully functional limbs and our brain, we cannot move, we cannot think and worst of all our health ebbs away. Someone once say depression occurs because we have tried to be too strong for too long, we need the support of our family and our community. Others say depression hits when you no longer find joy in anything you once loved. Suddenly everything makes no sense and everything has no sense. Need of survival just slips through the door and you wonder if anything or even anyone is worth the whole fight at all.

I once sat on the opposite fence and wonder why the hell people will just let it all go and kill themselves? Why would anyone just forget how important and valuable their loved ones are and hurt them by losing themselves? Why? But you will never understand how fragile a person's state of mind is when they are depressed. The brain can not process logic, it simply rejects it. The heart feels like lead and everything felt hopeless and bleak. Maybe I tried reaching out to people once, some may not understand the reason of my depression, others take this chance to deliver the final blow. For those who tried to reach out back, I felt like an unbearable burden on them. It doesn't just affect myself, it affects those around me. I've been there... I slowly withdraw deeper into my shell because I no longer feel that people could understand what I am feeling inside. I stop reaching out. I stop talking about how I feel. I loathe their pity which felt like patronizing. I loathe how useless and small I look through their eyes. I tried to seek solace from my family members but then every single visit back home would guarantee a meet with horrible aunts. Their sarcasm and masked jokes are like protective head gear protecting themselves from the poisonous fumes they exude on others. Initially I avoided the people who triggered this horrible feeling inside of me, but then slowly I grow suspicious of everyone's intention in coming closer to me, I shun them out.

 And once I see that, honestly it doesn't make me feel better.

Is it circumstances that had driven me to this sense of hopelessness, I wonder? Yet for every single time that I count my blessing when I feel depressed, I felt bad for feeling depressed. There are children in Africa who are dying of hunger, yet you felt depressed in your beautiful clothes and your warm belly? There are people who worked their bones off for their dreams, yet here you are doing nothing moaning about nothing? Is it justifiable? No. But the more I tried to reprimand myself for feeling this way, the worst I felt. Because I do not feel even worthy of such feelings, I became more depressed.

I have tried working harder, coming earlier to the workplace and cramped in more work than usual. I did a lot to fill up the void that is eating me inside. But the frustration and depression always seems to boil under the surface. Soon, work loses its appeal, I seemed to swim amid fake productivity. I tried suppressing it. But it always comes back. And like a ball, the harder you hit it, the higher it bounces; this feeling comes back worse than before.

 (To be continued)

My first experience with epilator

I am still in planning and decoration frenzy now! Try moving into a house and you will understand the pain and the indescribable mess that would ensue. Now try to imagine moving into the house while needing to do some repairing and renovating works at the same time... it felt like a bunch of kids just had war in it~! None of us have any experience in it, but we just hope something good will come out of the fun.Yikes~! 

I am hoping to be able to put up pics of how it looks before and after renovation (I could imagine the awesome feeling of satisfaction), but God knows how long it would take. O well, one step at a time. Which reminds me of another thing that requires one at a time... i.e. epilator~! 

Cute right? Comes with pink button... so ladylike... :P

When my friend first introduced the use of epilator, I was so scared of it. Epilator is like this mechanical octopus that plucks out your unwanted hair one strand at a time. When another friend mentioned how awesome it was, I decided to give it a try before I head back home for my wedding. 

The first time I turned it on, the whirring sound reminded me of my hubby's shaving sound which was so reassuring. But the second I placed it close to my leg... Omg! Tears were forming at the rim of my eye... It makes me secretly suspect whether my friends were actually out to get me. Is there a secret camera somewhere nearby to capture this ridiculous image of me crying with an epilator in my hand? If there was a single time when I fully comprehend the ridiculous things woman do for beauty, it would be now. (Actually there were plenty of time, including the time I hurt my toe wearing a really toe pinching boot. It was soo... Pwetty...) 

But after the first few drops of tears, it really wasn't that bad. Maybe I am now numb to the pain or maybe the image of my smoothed legs was an outlet for the pain. lol...

Though the hair follicle is plucked one by one by the roots, it did not irritate my skin or cause any bleeding which is great but there is that slight tingling and tight feeling. So the best way for me is to apply one thin layer of moisturizer before and after the session. But as is with all methods of hair extraction by the roots, there is the possibility of ingrown hair in the future. 

That reminds me of another small lint remover introduced to me by my younger sister. The usual lint remover consists of sticky double sided tape, but that has not been very effective. This lint remover can be found in most Daiso stores for a small cost of RM5. The front consists of a mesh  that allows the yarn to penetrate through; behind this mesh is the rotating blade that gently cuts off the lint which then accumulates at the bottom container. Practically, you will end up with a ball of lint that looks like what a cat would cough up. lol... So convenient, right?

I wish the epilator would also this convenient small container that would contain the hair follicle~! Won't that be wonderful? 

Dinner @ InContro Restaurant

Last Saturday, I had a rare chance to dine at InContro restaurant at Millpoint Road, Perth. It is not often I get the chance to indulge in fine dining, what more FREE fine dining~! Muahahaha...

InContro Restaurant is situated just next to the Swan River overlooking the beautiful riverside view of the city and its night lights, boasting of its mediterranean fine dining at its best. It is no wonder that it is not easy to get a booking at this place~! If it was not for my hubby's business acquaintance's birthday, I think it would be a long wait till I get a chance to dine here. At first, I was a bit shy to meet these people for the first time but when I heard that the dinner will be held in InContro, my shyness is squashed out of me. It can wait till my hunger is satisfied~!

Our seats on that day... 

The menu for the day.... Sounds so nice... 

 Too bad I was so shy to take pics of the food initially... then as I realized all the asians on the table (regardless of age and gender) all were taking pics of the food, I decided to follow suit... hehe... 

Arancini, some sort of creamy rice with mushroom and minced meat with lightly fried batter.

Tiered entree... Barramundi, Rottnest Scallops and crumbed calamari rings....  The barramundi is SO yummy... whereas the scallops is so big....  

The main consists of 3 types of meat... this is one of the unforgettable ones, lamb shoulder braised so soft it melts in your mouth~! 

 I was mentally prepared to be hungry as fine dining is supposed to be cute adorable portions of yummy food and I have a BIG appetite during winter. But as you can see from the menu, there was a wide selection of food so it settled snugly with each other. 

Eton Mess... Candy floss with a smooth cream and strawberry chunks. 

3 types of custard, one with frozen raspberry, strawberry cheese and cocoa mix. 

Of course, I didn't manage to snap all the pics... O well... My photography skill cannot fully capture the beauty of the barramundi fillet I had... omg.. Gotta love this place~! Special thanks to the lovely bunch of people who accommodated us~!

Amnesia

I had a dream one day, sometime during my prime.
I dreamt that one day I woke up without a single memory in my mind.
I forgot who I was, who I am and who I was supposed to be.
I forgot my family, my friends, my love and my hates.
I had no clue about social norms, peer pressure, and expectations.
I had no memory of rituals, practices, and habits of every kind.
What I had was a clean sheet of paper to start all over again.

And I was happy,
I'd imagined myself seeing the world again with a fresh pair of eyes,
re-discovering the world without glasses of my pasts.
I'd imagined myself being happy because I had no idea what I am expected to do,
I can instead focus on what I always wanted to do.
To try things I have never tried for fear of failure and humiliation.
I'd imagined dancing under the rain with the rainbow as my company.
I'd imagined crying because the sunset is just the most beautiful thing I have EVER seen.
I'd imagined singing with my friends and getting to know them all over again.
I'd imagined laughing again at jokes I heard tons before.
And I'd imagined being happy without burdens of my past.

But I dreamt  that slowly my memories trickled in,
Fears and expectation, pain and responsibility,
Failures and success, strength and weakness,
painted in my mind for my eyes to see.
I may not be who I wanted to be,
I may just be who I longed not to be.
Slowly, my innocence was dumped because it is too impractical,
my loves abandoned for responsibility,
my friends turned into acquaintances,
my laugh replaced by mere smile.
And I return to who I was before, with only a sliver of this memory of when I had amnesia.

(Source: 9gag)

Not a rhyme.
Hope you enjoy. And to set the mood, click on the link below for the song that accompanies. :)

file.mp3

Ignorance is bliss

If there is one thing that life has taught me again and again is that 'Ignorance is bliss'.

Take an example if someone in your life looks lonely, the old me would so totally make effort to bring this person out, try to engage in more group activity so this person would get to know more friends and give friendly counsel to this person. The old me would make extra effort to ensure that this person feels welcomed, taken care of and loved. But more often than not, I realise the real reason behind their loneliness is selfishness and unwillingness to compromise for the team. And this trait sooner or later makes me loathe them. 

Another example is really small thing like someone giving me the finger when they drove past me. The old me would recite a poem of curse words for their and my victim passengers' ears only, except more often than not the other driver would have driven quite faraway by now to even hear a single word of it! My wasted effort! And then the rest of my day would be plagued by that single incident when some dirt bag decided to give me the finger. Pek chek or not?

In reality, good events and bad events alike happens randomly every day of our life. It is in fact our minds that puts meaning and significance to these events. This is where ignorance comes into play. Emotions are sometimes like energy, it moves from one person to another. It is great if we are talking about joy and happiness but then I am talking about anger, resentment and frustration. By being ignorant to these feelings, I am putting up a firewall from downloading these negative emotions from the other person.

(Image source)

Take an example of the driver who gave me the finger.. the main purpose of giving me the finger would be to pass on his/her frustration and resentment unto me. If I ignore this action and perhaps laugh instead, the resentment is passed back to their court. Thinking about this gives me total bliss. I did this once, and the female driver's eyes almost pop out of her head trying to give me the evil eye which makes me laugh even harder. 

There will always be someone out there who tell you you can't. When we were younger, it was our parents limiting us because they wanted the best for us. As we grow up, it would be our teachers or the general community telling us what we can't do and where we should stand. Heck... my primary school years were terrible because teachers had a hard time 'breaking me into the education system'. One time, a teacher got so mad during a misunderstanding and scolded me and my friend. He told me if we cried, he would stop yelling at us (mental a not? close neighbour some more) and I ignored his request (the other girl did cry infact, so fake but he syok... mental kan?). Then he screamed some more then I ignored him some more. Then he screamed even more and called me rubbish. Cruel... cruel words from a mere teacher who teaches 10 years old kids then and who is STILL teaching small kids to this day (Never could say 'hi' to him afterwards cause it just seems like a mental person!!).

Some are good la, like don't smoke don't take drugs etc etc... But others are just so plain ... (can't find a word for it, you just know it when you hear it). If you have a dream that doesn't hurt the people around you, isn't illegal and doesn't break any ethical or religious view, shouldn't you have the freedom to do it? And if you have a sincere opinion that is different from others, shouldn't you have the right to express it? And in the event that it really is impossible, shouldn't you have the freedom to try and fail instead of never trying at all? When Galileo said the earth is round, did he not receive the backlash from his then community? But you will never have this freedom until you begin to ignore the negativity these people pour on you. When Thomas Edison was busy working with his creations, he did a lot to ignore the negativity around him!

Just wanna share this short video about a mum who ignored other people's harsh words and focus on what she love and appreciate. Ignore those people who fails to inspire her and tried to bring her down and focus on those who inspires her and how much she can gain... *So touching... Sniff*

Sometimes pursuit of perfection is the reason behind our misery and frustration. I find that the pursuit of perfection in workplace is alright but when this invades your expectations in relationship, that is when you try to control the other person. It doesn't matter what they wanted, what they needed (in my opinion) is what matters. Although I see how flawed or lonely their judgement could be and how logic and so-totally-relevant my counsels are, more often than not the messenger gets shot.

Once I tried to break up some friends who were so wrong for each other, the more I try to resist the more they persist. How many nights have I stayed awake fretting about their current condition? And then when I ignore them, that is when some of them breaks up on their own accord because you know what... their pressing issues are so OBVIOUS! So the best way is ignore, ignore those negative feelings of pity, loathe, resentment, anger, and frustration and focus on the happiness, camaraderie, comfort, and love. Sometimes the lonely person I mentioned is left alone while I pursue more meaningful and inspiring friendship. Sometimes this means I let these people continue on their lousy relationship without uttering another word and then watch as they suffer terrible heartache when their relationship fails and this may strike me as cruel but guess what? Sometimes the simplest lesson must be taught without the teacher, we can advise, nag and lecture with whatever might or however long we can but the person would not listen and may start to resent us. Like advising someone about cutting down on their intake of coke is going to fall on deaf ears, maybe they need this one time when their health is slightly affected to understand the good intention behind those words. They need those heart break to realise what to look for in a relationship.  Releasing your control on the situation and start trusting God in His infinite wisdom.

(Image source)

But there are also times when ignorance will bring our downfall, like those who never listen to my advise. *Evil laughters* 'I told you so' was never a pleasant thing to hear after a heartbreak. So use ignorance sparingly...

So till next time,
XOXO

Review: Hadalabo foaming wash and super hyaluronic acid lotion

These past few weeks have been so hectic!! In a short period of time, I have returned to Malaysia once! From transiting through kl to my hometown to meeting up with family members, preparing wedding stuff (namely photography, venue, invitation card design, and menu) and not forgetting my fiancee's graduation. Omg... Now that I am back, I have to unpack my baggage, repack them and move them to the new place. At the same time, ensuring all important mails have been redirected to my new address, make sure the main utilities have been transferred to our name, choosing furniture and discussing essential renovation works. Did I mentioned that calling those companies just to change one single detail takes minimum 30 minutes?? From being put on hold to safety checks and finally to actually change one small detail... Gosh... It really makes me appreciate simple things and simple procedures. That is why I am reviewing one of the simplest and satisfying product so far, i.e. Hadalabo Super Hyaluronic Acid Foaming Wash and Hadalabo Super Hyaluronic Acid lotion today~!

(1) Hadalabo Super Hyaluronic Acid Foaming Wash 

Price: US$11.50 on sasa.com

Content: 160 ml 

Manufactured in: Japan

Packaging: Cute and basic. The basic stop on it's neck ensures that there is no accidental spillage when you pack it in your travelling bag! 

Comment: This is so convenient for a busy person~! Just 2-3 pumps, and you have enough marshmallow type foam to cover your face without the tedious job of foaming up. So nice~! I think it wins me over because it is just so basic, containing no fragrances, colourants, oil and alcohol. I currently alternate this with another whitening wash but due to convenience, I end up using this cleanser most of the time. With its patented super hyaluronic acid, it is also incredibly moisturizing... so good for winter~! Plus this cleanser is slightly acidic which is close to the skin's natural ph, so you won't have the tight sensation after wash~!

Advantages: Convenient, reasonably priced, moisturizing, free of fragrances, colourants, oil and alcohol.

Disadvantages: Just very basic. (Actually I think this is an advantage instead of a disadvantage, but some people prefer multi-function, right?) 

(2) Hadalabo Super Hyaluronic Acid Lotion (I love to pronounce this as Lo-ti-on after watching Phil Wang's character... lol...)

Price: US$14.10 on sasa.com

Content: 170 ml

Manufactured in: Japan

Packaging: Convenient again~! It comes with a nice cap instead of a screw on bottle... Arigato~!

Comment: The texture is really unlike most lotion I have tried before. It is slightly viscous but it doesn't feel sticky at all~! The best thing is that it doesn't smell of alcohol and it really is so moisturizing!! I used the wash and this lotion in Malaysia and I can totally skip on emulsion and cream without fearing those dry white patches!! It is so shine free and without the fragrance, people doesn't credit my skin's smoothness to any product. *Evil laughter* 

Advantages: Convenient, moisturizing, non-oily, free of fragrances, colourants, oil and alcohol.

Disadvantages: Not very easily absorbed, you just got to pat pat pat and lightly massage it in. 

 So now you know... actually maybe you already know... this product is so popular. The products claimed that every 4 seconds, one bottle of the lotion is sold~! Omg... This review is so overdue!! But then there is so much product, and I only have one face... so bo bien... Anyway, have fun trying it out~!

Faith...

I once read that there are three things that we should not lose in our lives and they are peace, hope and love. Inner peace that comes from understanding and accepting who you are, what you want and what you need. Hope for something better and love for others and yourself. As I grow up, I realise something else is missing. And that one thing should be FAITH~! Although it seems faith and hope are interchangeable, it does not bear the same meaning. Faith comes from believing and trusting within yourself rather than succumbing to what is on the outside.

I find it slightly ironic that what with technological advancement and medical miracles happening nowadays, one thing that we find lacking is faith. We have seen with our own eyes what can be done when it was deemed impossible not too long ago, yet the first thing that comes to our mind when time turns rough is that 'it can't be done'. Have our eyes been dulled by the magic that has been occurring all around us that we do not know how to stir the magic within us?

I have been doing quite a lot of reading lately (by my own standards, anyway... apart from academic papers too... ) and I came across the book 'The Secret'. Although some people may wave it off as hocus pocus, I decided to finish it. I realise it can be very beneficial as it talks about having faith in our current times. It seems like a new generation version of the Bible as it contains bit and pieces of the Bible. The only reason why it sounds like Hocus Pocus was because instead of having faith in God, it uses Universe. Interesting, right? 

I used to think that hope is enough. The silent voice within me that whispers endearment and console of what tomorrow could bring... but hope is not enough! Hope is like a candle amidst the strong wind, beautiful but so easily diminished; faith is like a strong conviction, a fluorescent light that shines bright and when you close your eyes, you will still be able to see the shadow of the light.

Sometimes, I get bogged down by daily grinds. Sometimes, I fear I am not being the best that I can be. Sometimes, I doubt that I can see the light at the end of my tunnel. And sometimes, I am haunted by a sudden willingness to just let go of everything (and I mean everything). But this book reminded me what it means to have faith and HOW to have faith (So important!!). If you feel bummed out or down most of the time, I implore you to take a read of the Bible (if you are Christian... but if you are not, the book won't eat you, ok?) and The Secret and I leave you with this verse from a song:

We walk by faith and not by sight. 

When things go wrong, I will be alright, 

Cause someone greater is watching over me. 

So whatever you do, take care and have faith~!

XOXO

Moving soon...

Hi, guys~!

If you added me on twitter and instagram, you'll know that I have been talking nonstop about my move this month. Yes, it is going to happen~! After hours of packing, cleaning, browsing through catalogues, day dreaming, measuring and day dreaming some more, we are almost ready to move to our house. I am so excited about having a house to call my home. Although it is pretty small, have to really ignore someone's scrunched up nose and folded up arm when someone saw our house, I am pretty happy and grateful with what I have right now. Yeah, one can always dream of bigger house, bigger car, bigger lawn and yap yap yap about not having enough, but right now I am screening those out. Life is about enjoy, and enjoy it I shall. :P

To commemorate my big move, I am moving my blog... not a major move la... but move nonetheless... When I finally move into my new house, I am gonna change it to Jellster@blogspot.com. Not major change, right? Pretty obvious what I am trying to delete. So if you follow me on your blog, appreciate it if you could change it sometime next fortnight. And hope we stay connected. :) 

XOXO...

Touchie touchy...

Is it me or can someone relate to me on this... I am not much of a touchy feely kinda person.

I guess being in Perth, that must means this kinda behavior may well be viewed as bordering on anti-social. I get it, but it's ok. The truth is I do not like to be unnecessarily touched. I know some of my friends is so going to be exaggerating this point, I do not mind the slight bump, the slight graze of the hands on my hands, the handshake, and the fist bump (I actually think it is cool... :P). But I do mind the unnecessary handshake (like omg, every single time we meet? Once when we meet up and another when we part? Why??), the slight lingering hand on my back, the pat on my shoulder, the pat on the head, and the hugging where my pelvic bone knocks into theirs... now that is awkward. 

(Source)

So am I the only one here? 

*cricket sounds* 

Yeah, I knew it! A close guy friend of mine knew me all too well when we had a chance meeting and he had to stop short from hugging me to this awkwardly widespread eagle wave and a hand that grazes over my flat tummy (yeah, I just had to say that.. :P). That was then I realize how ridiculous I must have looked in other people's eyes. When I had to send my best friend off, he announced to me 'Ok, I am going to hug you now. Is that alright?'. And we were both in that awkward scenario because it should have come off naturally instead of... ok, let's hug... kinda scenario. One time, a new friend began crying to me and I couldn't even find it in myself to hug her and let her cry on my shoulder. She must have thought 'that heartless bitch!' ... Nah, I think she didn't, because she did that a few more times and I'd to think I made her feel comfortable by not pitying her but just listening to her. I'd like but I am not sure... 

Even dogs hug~! (Source)

And it's not like I am extremely afraid of contracting deadly diseases from them, or I think they are dirty, because if they are, trust me... I would be standing way further than an arm's reach and they probably have to squint to determine whether it was me they were seeing or just a mirage. But I am just not good at this kinda method of showing affection, some people can do it so naturally but I can't, I would over think the situation, like 'should my right hands go under or over her shoulder?', 'should I pat her head too?', 'should I cry too?' and 'what is the BEST distance one should hug? Too close and I might seem like I was overzealous or just plain insincere; too far and I will really look like I am insincere and afraid of contracting some deadly diseases from them'. I wish for myself that there is some kind of algorithm that you can input the relationship status and then the algorithm would calculate the perfect hugging distance. Which leads me to the second trap, the relationship status. 

Omg... let me go already... (Source)

Sometimes, you have a friend who you are not sure about... like is he/she your best friend/acquaintance or just good friends? A hug from you might mean that you take her as a best friend but does she? I do not want to look like I desperately wanted her to be my BFF and scare her off now, would I? Like when I tell my guy friends 'you can hug me when we are best friend' and they don't hug me, so does that mean they think I am not their best friend or they think I think they are not my best friend? WHO the heck is going to initiate the first contact?? 

I do not want to be insincere by touching people and not meaning it, like a guy who bangs a girl on the first date and did not ever call back. I don't. That is why I touch only when necessary. Take an example of me meeting a new friend in my previous company, I told him he would not like shaking my hands cause I have cold hands from the air con. He say he doesn't believe it and proceed to be very charming by wrestling my hands over only to flinch at the first touch. The flinch was so obvious, I felt hurt. To his credit, he did continue to shake my hand but he could not disguise his look of disgust. Well... too bad my hands weren't wet and slimmy too... 

I guess with this in mind, maybe it is a good idea to stay connected in the internet. 

So here it is...

I guess this should be me now... (Source)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO 

:)

3 questions for break up

After the honeymoon phase of a relationship, all relationships will undergo rough patches where they quarrel more than they kiss and time together seemed to drag into eternity of hell instead of glimpses of heaven as it once was. Sometimes these rough patches are signs that the relationship is not meant to be, and yet other times it is just a phase they had to undergo to better understand each other and as preparation for the next phase of the relationship. 

Fighting in a relationship... (Source) 

Sometimes, you don't know whether you choose to continue this relationship because of love or of habitual behaviour.  It is hard even for me to throw out my old worn out bag which can never be used again because I used to have so many loving memories of it, so what more to say of a relationship? We are after all, beings of emotion and not robots. Once we attached an emotional value to a thing, it is hard to detach ourselves even when the thing had turn sour or gone. And nobody likes changes, even my pet duckling, they rather fall into the drain than use the bridge I made for them. So would you rather let your relationship fall into a habitual fighting and squabbling and perhaps lukewarm condition instead of identifying that something is wrong? 

Are we still an item? (Source)

And one of the contributor of the unwillingness to let go is peer pressure. Because the measure of happiness does not stop at your wealth and health but whether you have a partner? It has often been a discussion amongst people during family gatherings and reunions whether one has a partner or not, that I'd hate to imagine the day when I have to answer that instead of being the asker. We are trained to think that if we do not have a partner even when we have everything else, there must be something absolutely wrong with us. For example, having a person beside you on Friday night dictates that you are not desperate and definitely not a weirdo. Or the occasional annoying guy who definitely has lower test score and social reputation than you, suddenly thinks he somehow has the right to belittle you because he has a girlfriend and you are single.  It is like the presence of our partner somehow vouch our sanity, mental stability and social standing for us. 

Best advise ever... (Source)

So how do you know? Sometimes if you are lucky, your family member and maybe the occasional best friend is better able to identify this before you, only because they do not have the deep emotional attachment as you. That is why I summarize some questions to consider when you are in such a situation: 

#3 What is it you love about your partner?

Or, you can ask yourself what do you love about your partner? If you are 1 year into the relationship, and you can only come up with their smile, just shut up already. It is normal that the first thing you notice is something superficial like their smile, their eyes, their beauty and their boobs. But one should also know that these do not last, their smile will fade when they cry, their eyes will be peppered with wrinkles and black  eye circles as they age, their beauty will fade with time and their once perky boobies may be replaced with saggy bobbies. 

We belong together... (Source)

After a few months into the relationship, you should notice and love how they are the zig to your zag, e.g. how your strong hand envelops her tiny hand (male), or how warm is his palm (female), or how your head fits into the nook under his neck (female) and etc. However, the more into the relationship you get, you should by now notice her inner beauty. There are times when her action touch you considerably, it may be something so simple like making your lunch for you or something more touching like buying you that latest Diablo 3 game which she knows you have been eyeing for months and would most probably rob her of your time together with her. 

Which brings us to the next question...

#2 Does your needs and wants align with your partner?

A healthy relationship is one that both has to give and take, and it is this continuous action of giving and receiving that keeps both party happy and in love. Imagine a scale in balance, if one is given too much load, the scale will tip over... likewise if one party has only to give while the other party only takes, it doesn't take a genius mathematician to notice the imbalance. But, and this is important, sometimes in a relationship, one has to give more than the other. For example, one is going through a hard time like losing their job, and the other partner has to provide for the family and/or emotional support. Even I go through a phase where I take more than I give, but the key importance is noticing that (1) it is just a phase and (2) whether they need it or just plainly want it. Most importantly for point (1) is that it is a passing phase and it will blow over given time, perhaps today I may take more than I give but tomorrow I may give more than I take. 

(Source)

For (2), If a girl loses her job and do not have enough to pay the rent, and requires her partner's assistance to make ends meet, it is a need. However, take an example of an insatiable and demanding girl who makes her own money but insist her boyfriend to not only pay for the rent and the utilities but also for her spending money and her family, that is want. Likewise, if your pride insists that you be able to provide for your girlfriend's every whim and wants, then off course both of you would be so in love with each other like a match made in Heaven. BUT if you need a woman that would be more understanding and supportive of you as the world is not easy on your pocket, well, off course this woman is a devil to you. It is really not hard to see, yet many could not see it. 

Do you need to or do you want to? Do your partner need it or want it? (Source)

Ah, you think, perhaps people can change to accommodate the other person, and I totally agree with that. Maybe you can change your want to accommodate her want, like being more brave, earn more money and be more influential. Good news is you can change minor details, it is your core values that will be your biggest enemy. And don't forget drastic change will put more strain into the relationship and in the end you might revert to your old self and hate her for her ways. 


That is why it is important to get to know yourself, your core values, your needs and your wants before committing to a relationship. 


However, people's wants and needs change with time, right? Take an example, when I am in high school, I want more romance in my relationship. All that singing in the rain, or dedicating a special song to me, to buying flowers and surprise parties was all I could ever hope for. But as I mature, I do not need this much attention, I value trust and our own space. Which brings us to the final question...

#1 What type of future you envisioned for the both of you?

Like a captain navigating the ship, he must have the support from all the ship's crew or else he would have a mutiny on board. Likewise, the both of you should have similar envision of the future. One of the way to identify a rough patch as a rough patch and not final blows to the relationship is when both of you can see a future together. 

A normal future together would include matrimony and maybe a baby (Source)

A friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend once told me that although she could not see a future with him, she'd still clung unto the hope that they could be as sweet and happy as they used to be in those university years. It was apparent even to her that after graduation, she had moved unto a steady job and was now saving and planning for the future, however her boyfriend was still living the university life (albeit graduation) by constant partying and spending and have yet felt the urgency to get a job. Similarly, a size 5 shoe would fit me when I am 13 but as I grow, my feet grow and I would not be able to forcefully ram my feet into a size 5 shoe. Regardless how I once enjoyed the shoe, it would be unhealthy for my feet to grow in such condition. It is going to hurt each time I take a step in the shoe. So news are, so is your soul. 

If after asking yourself these questions, you still find hope to fight for your relationship, then do it! But if you don't, it is time to let go. 

All the best~! 

Diary: Getting ready~!

My clock is ticking. The actual countdown to my big day is about 7 months, but then prior to that would be the pre-wedding photography. Suddenly all your flaws will be scrutinised by the photographers and the make up artist. I am hoping that my make up artist would find me at least attractive or if she doesn't, she can at least pretend to and then attempt to make me look better. And I am hoping that my photographer would capture me at my best angle,  at least take pics of me that are better looking than those camwhoring pics I take. In their defense, they would  have the help of photoshop and a GOOD camera. :P

I guess before the wedding is happening, I would not be publishing much reviews as I will stay a reluctant coward in trying new products to maintain my skin. It was pretty hard to maintain my skin condition this summer with my brother here as well, not pointing fingers here, but it was also hard to stop eating as well. You getting the picture?

It is also so hard to exercise and sweat profusely in summer day, so HOT! But then again, since when is exercising easy for a lazy person like me? I will probably (as a matter of fact, 100% sure) blame winter for the cold that I am too sleepy to exercise anyway!! lol...

I am planning to share my current fitness routine here once it proves to be of some value, to which I still doubt. In their defense, food tastes better and multiply by the dozens when one is on diet. But in my defense, one of my wisdom tooth have decided to play peek-a-boo with me which renders me painful, hungry and angry all at the same time. I don't know why anybody cared to call them wise, like pain makes people so wise. It should be called painful tooth. :(

So till then, make sure you take care of yourself in light of the changing weather. I know I sound like a mama, but seeing how only nagging works on my brother, I am convinced of it. So, make sure you drink enough water! Take some vit C if you think you are coming down with flu, it helps! Drink some herbal cooling tea like chrysanthemum tea, loh han guo or wong loh kat if you feel feverish or hot inside! Get enough sleep! And in my case, if this still hurts, I need to visit a dentist and get my wisdom extracted. Pun intended.

Good night~! :)

Being different

Growing up... one of the hardest thing was being different. Whether it is the color of your skin, your family background, your cultural background or maybe your smell... Though there was no sin whatsoever in being the person having the traits that you have, whatever that makes you different than the average are grounds enough for taunts, teases and sometimes the uncalled for pranks and bully.

I am pretty much the average Jane in my eye, but then again someone once commented that I have big eyes. And with big eyes, inevitably with the shape of my skull, I had to make do with eye bags. And in college year, someone had made jokes over and over again about my eyes. My so called best friend joked that I probably won't be able to fit in contact lens inside it. The contact lens will probably fall out coz my eyes are too big. It hurts because I thought she was a nice person, but her words were nasty.

And it turns out that I can wear contact lens. Omg... It is so stupid to think that it will be harder for me to wear it because of her words! it is so easy! And the trend now is big BIG eyes, alright? People make up so much and wear color contact lens to achieve this... And if I m sleeping properly or with the right concealer, I can achieve bigger eyes make up even faster than she could. So in her face! I am sure this is nothing in comparison with how bad of teases and taunts other people get throughout their teenage years. But it is after all, an example. 

My point is that it is normal to be different than the average person. It is normal to be different at even a young age. Because when you grow up, you will realize what makes you different makes you special. I read through a lot of stories of artist and even successful businessman and woman who mentioned that at a young age, they were different to their peers. I can't promise that being different will make you beautiful, but I know that being different makes you stand out and makes you the unique you that no one can replace.

Growing up versus growing old

I came across this piece in Philip Wang's blog on Xanga...

Growing up means that you are gaining a better understanding of the world you live in, your relationships, your goals and how to affect them.

Growing old means that things are happening to you and your true desires remain unexplored.

Growing up means you accept and are open to the changes that we ALL eventually go through at some point and adapting to them gracefully, yet not always willingly.

Growing old means you reject or resist the way the world and you inevitably change.

Growing up means reflecting on yourself critically, in efforts to improve and continually evolve your abilities to learn, relate with others, and feel.

Growing old means...dude you just don't get it. 

The funny thing was that he wrote this when he is 25 years old and I am reading this when I am NOT 25 years old YET but o well... coming to in half a year anyway. :P  

I guess I relate more to the growing old part and I reluctantly concluded that I rejected growing up, having figured that if the grown ups I met on my way there are any judge of who I could and used to wish to be, I don't want any bit of it. It is hard coming to terms with this, maybe because I don't have a good role model in the first place. 

I used to relate one's wisdom to their experience, and their experience to their age. But more often times than not, I was disappointed. Others turn out to be more immature and just downright ignorant. So I guess I choose to be that way too. I rejected their opinions, I rejected their notions, I rejected their characters and their values by encasing myself in a protective shell of anti-social and self-righteousness. I became so good at this that I do not know how to break my shell as it was my shelter and also my Achilles heel. 

Growing old is me, who have been through a lot but I have learnt so little. I was exposed to situations and people who disappointed and hurt me, heard lies so much I want to puke, ok... in conclusion, I am just so disappointed. My only way to continue was to literally numb my senses and push on. I guess that was the starting point where I grew old. It is weird to have this reflection in March but growing up requires constant reflection, so if you are in a similar condition, first step is reflection. I am not sure where I am headed from here but I want it to be somewhere great. Because I had a dream last night, and I dream that I witnessed someone commit suicide and I cried because I believe that as long as one is alive, there should be hope. So let's have hope in our hearts, and perhaps the day would seem easier. :) 

Have a nice day. 

Summer Skincare (masks)

Oops... Summer is almost over when I finally finished with the editing of this post. The reason how I come to finish it is all thanks to summer too~! I slept at 9:30pm today, which is like really really rare and thanks to the hot weather, I woke up again at midnight, after tossing and turning endlessly. I do wish autumn would arrive sooner rather than later, it is already March~! Read the calender, season~! 

I am still actively looking for a really soothing and cooling mask especially after a hot day out, like can you believe the weather? my eyes felt so dry, I could not roll my eyes at the weather~!  So far, the best one is still basic lotion masks. The main criteria being choosing a good lotion, preferably one without alcohol for maximum hydration. Love it so much, but apart from that, these are some I have also tried during this summer.

• Clay Pack Deep Cleansing Masque (A$36.10 web price at nuskin.com @ 100ml)

Price : A$ 36.10 web price at nuskin.com 

Content : 100 ml

Manufactured in : USA

Description : Clay pack is a non-drying facial mask that moisturizes the skin while it deep cleanses. The combination of clay, aloe vera, NaPCA, and intensive cleansing agents help unclog pores, free impurities, and leave skin feeling its best. 
Pros : The texture is smooth milky texture, smells like yogurt. It really soothes my skin, especially after mild-medium sun exposure, certain time of the month or even when I am just stressed out. It is even suitable for most skin type. It contains kaolin clay which supposedly helps unclog pores, so my skin feels cleansed, moisturized and brightened at the end of the mask.
Cons : The retail price is quite pricey, but a little goes a long way.
Though it is such a mild yet multipurpose mask, it hardens slightly as it dries so try not to make too much facial expressions while doing it. And though I was tempted to leave it on while I sleep, DON'T ever do that~! The wrinkles formed when the mask is all dried up and starts to get brittle will remain to haunt you in the long run. So only use it till it dries properly, sometimes around 30-45 minutes and then wash it off. Would I buy it again? Are you kidding me? I heart it... heart heart heart it~! 

• My Beauty Diary Pearl Powder Mask (available in Sasa.com at A$11.90)

Price : A$11.90 at Sasa.com

Content : 30g (23ml of serum) 

Material : Cotton

Description : My Beauty Diary Pearl Pearl Powder Mask whitens, nourishes and revitalizes skin. It is ideal for all skin types, especially dull and damaged skin. Creates translucent and whitened skin: Super fine pearl powder contains various amino acid and microelements which permeate into skin, performing watery and white skin. Mulberry peel essence hydrates skin. Revitalizes and nourishes skin : Vitamin B and seaweed complex revitalize and nourish skin while licorice and citrus ingredients condition and nourish skin. Amazing Nanospheres Technology : Structured with plenty of tiny holes, it enhances absorption of nourishment, leaving skin moisturized.  
Pros : The mask cutting and fitting is awesome for such a reasonable price. The smell of the mask is also very nice. It is great after a long day or mild sun exposure to soothe the skin and your nerves. I heart heart heart it~! Offers slight moisturizing and brightens up the skin.
Cons : I thought, at this price, there isn't much I could complain. The mask was soft and it adheres to the skin well. So, what else? Well, for starter it does not soothes medium sun exposure and it doesn't control sebum excretion and/or major whitening. But it does provides a slight cooling effect on the skin.
Over all, I still really love it and would buy it again. 

• Holika Holika Bulgarian Rose Petal Mask (available in Bonjourhk.com at HKD129 at 100ml)

Price : HKD 129 at Bonjourhk.com

Content : 100 ml 

Manufactured in : Korea

Description :

Pros: If you are looking for a girly mask for a relaxing time, then this mask with its rose smell and tiny rose petals (looks like snow fungus) would be awesome. It offers slights moisturizing benefits; its main focus is a relaxation means for the skin.

Cons: The smell is overpowering to others. Apart from that, it does not offer any whitening or brightening effects to my skin. 

I find it quite amazing that it was noted as the bestseller, but the packaging was pretty cute and sometimes it is not really about the actual content but the experience it provides. Not every mask needs to be packed with awesome goodness? But nah... I won't buy it again in a hurry.

• Lush handmade BB Seaweed mask

Price : AUD14.95 at Lush

Content : 75g

Manufactured: In store

Description : Relaxing and reviving, mineral-rich mask to cleanse, soften and beautify all skins. This blend, inspired by the sea, contains fresh and nutritious seaweed and seaweed absolute. Cleansing kaolin, antiseptic honey, calming aloe vera and rose absolute make this a great mask for everyone. Apply to clean skin, avoiding the eye area. Leave for five to ten minutes, and then rinse with warm water. Keep chilled.

Pros : Recommended usage is about 2-3 times a week, could use about 7-8 time in total. It lasted longer than I initially thought it would. No artificial preservatives which enables your skin some breathers. Contains honey and peppermint which helps sooth skin after exposure to the sun. Kaolin clay also helps absorbs and control the sebum excretion. 

Cons : Relatively expensive and could only last for 3 weeks in the refrigerator. The size of the exfoliate is quite big, which makes it hard to use my skin type and not my choice for a refreshing sooth after sun exposure. If your skin's metabolism is slow and has dull pale skin most of the time, you can try this though. Apart from that, the smell is nothing near heavenly. 

This was recommended to me after I mentioned that I wanted something for sebum control, especially during summer. However, I could not comment on that as the sebum control isn't that noticeable compared to my flaking dry skin resulting from the exfoliate. Though I love the whole concept of fresh hand made soap and mask, the fact that I could not finish it within 3 weeks annoys me. I even resorted to use it generously on my bro's face, as he complaint about the smell. And it is incredibly expensive in Australia as compared to US even though those masks are made locally. So will I buy it again? No, perhaps not this mask. 

Although this is a fast track review, I hope it helps your research when deciding whether or not to buy a certain product. It is hard, I know it firsthand.

So till next time,

XOXO

Size and gravity

Gravity. Yes, gravity. The same gravity that cause an apple to drop from a tree and unto Newton's glorious head, is also the same gravity that I am talking about today. But perhaps more parody that scientific.

Anyway, the most annoying thing happened this week~! I tried to brush it away but once I noticed it, well... I can't help but keep noticing it!! It all began on Monday when I had to wait for my friend. Trying to be a nice person, I stood at a corner while people come and go so as not to obstruct the flow of traffic while I silently play with my Iphone. As I was engrossed in my silent activity, someone bumped into me so hard my Iphone almost flew out of my hand. I looked around and noticed this petite and skinny girl who had bumped into me.

Weird, I thought as I inspected the walking space beside me which can easily accommodate 3-4 times her frame. So I crawled deeper (If possible) into the recesses of the corner. But there she is again, turning around to leave the store, bumped into me yet again~!

Just to make things in perspective, other people simply walked in and out easily without this need to bump into me. Hence, I speculated... could being too thin for your sake means a loss in balance and judgement? Then yesterday while I was waiting in a queue, there is this two really skinny girls behind me. Total strangers, by the way. So they were talking and I realised with goosebumps that one of this girl is leaning real close behind me. If this happened out under the sun, I could perhaps excuse her behaviour as trying to hide under my shadow. Or if this was a guy, then I would easily know that this person is a pervert. But this is a girl and once again, there is plenty of space...

So my friend offered me this little word of advise, explaining to me in a term called the 'gravity' concept. So, stars or planets draws object smaller than them close to them with the use of gravity. In the same way that earth orbits around the sun and the moon around the earth, I somehow have drawn skinny people to orbit close to me. In an inexplicable way, some could not orbit properly and rain like asteroid on me.

In this same analogy, can I also assume that things, good or bad will be drawn naturally to bigger sized people, e.g. attention, wealth and for the wishful few, health? I could only speculate, but in the recent UK grammy award, I could easily pinpoint a good example.

Take it!! Take it!! Take it all... [source: datablog]

So, for those who have come to me mentioning how I should lose weight till the point of underweight, thank you very much, I now know that secretly you are jealous of all the things that get drawn to me. Or plainly you just want less of me in your plain sight. Either way, I am just kidding.

This is after all, a joke post. And if you do not get it, it's alright. Just as things get drawn to bigger things, ideas and thoughts get drawn to bigger brain. lol...