Being different

Growing up... one of the hardest thing was being different. Whether it is the color of your skin, your family background, your cultural background or maybe your smell... Though there was no sin whatsoever in being the person having the traits that you have, whatever that makes you different than the average are grounds enough for taunts, teases and sometimes the uncalled for pranks and bully.

I am pretty much the average Jane in my eye, but then again someone once commented that I have big eyes. And with big eyes, inevitably with the shape of my skull, I had to make do with eye bags. And in college year, someone had made jokes over and over again about my eyes. My so called best friend joked that I probably won't be able to fit in contact lens inside it. The contact lens will probably fall out coz my eyes are too big. It hurts because I thought she was a nice person, but her words were nasty.

And it turns out that I can wear contact lens. Omg... It is so stupid to think that it will be harder for me to wear it because of her words! it is so easy! And the trend now is big BIG eyes, alright? People make up so much and wear color contact lens to achieve this... And if I m sleeping properly or with the right concealer, I can achieve bigger eyes make up even faster than she could. So in her face! I am sure this is nothing in comparison with how bad of teases and taunts other people get throughout their teenage years. But it is after all, an example. 

My point is that it is normal to be different than the average person. It is normal to be different at even a young age. Because when you grow up, you will realize what makes you different makes you special. I read through a lot of stories of artist and even successful businessman and woman who mentioned that at a young age, they were different to their peers. I can't promise that being different will make you beautiful, but I know that being different makes you stand out and makes you the unique you that no one can replace.

Growing up versus growing old

I came across this piece in Philip Wang's blog on Xanga...

Growing up means that you are gaining a better understanding of the world you live in, your relationships, your goals and how to affect them.

Growing old means that things are happening to you and your true desires remain unexplored.

Growing up means you accept and are open to the changes that we ALL eventually go through at some point and adapting to them gracefully, yet not always willingly.

Growing old means you reject or resist the way the world and you inevitably change.

Growing up means reflecting on yourself critically, in efforts to improve and continually evolve your abilities to learn, relate with others, and feel.

Growing old means...dude you just don't get it. 

The funny thing was that he wrote this when he is 25 years old and I am reading this when I am NOT 25 years old YET but o well... coming to in half a year anyway. :P  

I guess I relate more to the growing old part and I reluctantly concluded that I rejected growing up, having figured that if the grown ups I met on my way there are any judge of who I could and used to wish to be, I don't want any bit of it. It is hard coming to terms with this, maybe because I don't have a good role model in the first place. 

I used to relate one's wisdom to their experience, and their experience to their age. But more often times than not, I was disappointed. Others turn out to be more immature and just downright ignorant. So I guess I choose to be that way too. I rejected their opinions, I rejected their notions, I rejected their characters and their values by encasing myself in a protective shell of anti-social and self-righteousness. I became so good at this that I do not know how to break my shell as it was my shelter and also my Achilles heel. 

Growing old is me, who have been through a lot but I have learnt so little. I was exposed to situations and people who disappointed and hurt me, heard lies so much I want to puke, ok... in conclusion, I am just so disappointed. My only way to continue was to literally numb my senses and push on. I guess that was the starting point where I grew old. It is weird to have this reflection in March but growing up requires constant reflection, so if you are in a similar condition, first step is reflection. I am not sure where I am headed from here but I want it to be somewhere great. Because I had a dream last night, and I dream that I witnessed someone commit suicide and I cried because I believe that as long as one is alive, there should be hope. So let's have hope in our hearts, and perhaps the day would seem easier. :) 

Have a nice day. 

Summer Skincare (masks)

Oops... Summer is almost over when I finally finished with the editing of this post. The reason how I come to finish it is all thanks to summer too~! I slept at 9:30pm today, which is like really really rare and thanks to the hot weather, I woke up again at midnight, after tossing and turning endlessly. I do wish autumn would arrive sooner rather than later, it is already March~! Read the calender, season~! 

I am still actively looking for a really soothing and cooling mask especially after a hot day out, like can you believe the weather? my eyes felt so dry, I could not roll my eyes at the weather~!  So far, the best one is still basic lotion masks. The main criteria being choosing a good lotion, preferably one without alcohol for maximum hydration. Love it so much, but apart from that, these are some I have also tried during this summer.

• Clay Pack Deep Cleansing Masque (A$36.10 web price at nuskin.com @ 100ml)

Price : A$ 36.10 web price at nuskin.com 

Content : 100 ml

Manufactured in : USA

Description : Clay pack is a non-drying facial mask that moisturizes the skin while it deep cleanses. The combination of clay, aloe vera, NaPCA, and intensive cleansing agents help unclog pores, free impurities, and leave skin feeling its best. 
Pros : The texture is smooth milky texture, smells like yogurt. It really soothes my skin, especially after mild-medium sun exposure, certain time of the month or even when I am just stressed out. It is even suitable for most skin type. It contains kaolin clay which supposedly helps unclog pores, so my skin feels cleansed, moisturized and brightened at the end of the mask.
Cons : The retail price is quite pricey, but a little goes a long way.
Though it is such a mild yet multipurpose mask, it hardens slightly as it dries so try not to make too much facial expressions while doing it. And though I was tempted to leave it on while I sleep, DON'T ever do that~! The wrinkles formed when the mask is all dried up and starts to get brittle will remain to haunt you in the long run. So only use it till it dries properly, sometimes around 30-45 minutes and then wash it off. Would I buy it again? Are you kidding me? I heart it... heart heart heart it~! 

• My Beauty Diary Pearl Powder Mask (available in Sasa.com at A$11.90)

Price : A$11.90 at Sasa.com

Content : 30g (23ml of serum) 

Material : Cotton

Description : My Beauty Diary Pearl Pearl Powder Mask whitens, nourishes and revitalizes skin. It is ideal for all skin types, especially dull and damaged skin. Creates translucent and whitened skin: Super fine pearl powder contains various amino acid and microelements which permeate into skin, performing watery and white skin. Mulberry peel essence hydrates skin. Revitalizes and nourishes skin : Vitamin B and seaweed complex revitalize and nourish skin while licorice and citrus ingredients condition and nourish skin. Amazing Nanospheres Technology : Structured with plenty of tiny holes, it enhances absorption of nourishment, leaving skin moisturized.  
Pros : The mask cutting and fitting is awesome for such a reasonable price. The smell of the mask is also very nice. It is great after a long day or mild sun exposure to soothe the skin and your nerves. I heart heart heart it~! Offers slight moisturizing and brightens up the skin.
Cons : I thought, at this price, there isn't much I could complain. The mask was soft and it adheres to the skin well. So, what else? Well, for starter it does not soothes medium sun exposure and it doesn't control sebum excretion and/or major whitening. But it does provides a slight cooling effect on the skin.
Over all, I still really love it and would buy it again. 

• Holika Holika Bulgarian Rose Petal Mask (available in Bonjourhk.com at HKD129 at 100ml)

Price : HKD 129 at Bonjourhk.com

Content : 100 ml 

Manufactured in : Korea

Description :

Pros: If you are looking for a girly mask for a relaxing time, then this mask with its rose smell and tiny rose petals (looks like snow fungus) would be awesome. It offers slights moisturizing benefits; its main focus is a relaxation means for the skin.

Cons: The smell is overpowering to others. Apart from that, it does not offer any whitening or brightening effects to my skin. 

I find it quite amazing that it was noted as the bestseller, but the packaging was pretty cute and sometimes it is not really about the actual content but the experience it provides. Not every mask needs to be packed with awesome goodness? But nah... I won't buy it again in a hurry.

• Lush handmade BB Seaweed mask

Price : AUD14.95 at Lush

Content : 75g

Manufactured: In store

Description : Relaxing and reviving, mineral-rich mask to cleanse, soften and beautify all skins. This blend, inspired by the sea, contains fresh and nutritious seaweed and seaweed absolute. Cleansing kaolin, antiseptic honey, calming aloe vera and rose absolute make this a great mask for everyone. Apply to clean skin, avoiding the eye area. Leave for five to ten minutes, and then rinse with warm water. Keep chilled.

Pros : Recommended usage is about 2-3 times a week, could use about 7-8 time in total. It lasted longer than I initially thought it would. No artificial preservatives which enables your skin some breathers. Contains honey and peppermint which helps sooth skin after exposure to the sun. Kaolin clay also helps absorbs and control the sebum excretion. 

Cons : Relatively expensive and could only last for 3 weeks in the refrigerator. The size of the exfoliate is quite big, which makes it hard to use my skin type and not my choice for a refreshing sooth after sun exposure. If your skin's metabolism is slow and has dull pale skin most of the time, you can try this though. Apart from that, the smell is nothing near heavenly. 

This was recommended to me after I mentioned that I wanted something for sebum control, especially during summer. However, I could not comment on that as the sebum control isn't that noticeable compared to my flaking dry skin resulting from the exfoliate. Though I love the whole concept of fresh hand made soap and mask, the fact that I could not finish it within 3 weeks annoys me. I even resorted to use it generously on my bro's face, as he complaint about the smell. And it is incredibly expensive in Australia as compared to US even though those masks are made locally. So will I buy it again? No, perhaps not this mask. 

Although this is a fast track review, I hope it helps your research when deciding whether or not to buy a certain product. It is hard, I know it firsthand.

So till next time,

XOXO

Size and gravity

Gravity. Yes, gravity. The same gravity that cause an apple to drop from a tree and unto Newton's glorious head, is also the same gravity that I am talking about today. But perhaps more parody that scientific.

Anyway, the most annoying thing happened this week~! I tried to brush it away but once I noticed it, well... I can't help but keep noticing it!! It all began on Monday when I had to wait for my friend. Trying to be a nice person, I stood at a corner while people come and go so as not to obstruct the flow of traffic while I silently play with my Iphone. As I was engrossed in my silent activity, someone bumped into me so hard my Iphone almost flew out of my hand. I looked around and noticed this petite and skinny girl who had bumped into me.

Weird, I thought as I inspected the walking space beside me which can easily accommodate 3-4 times her frame. So I crawled deeper (If possible) into the recesses of the corner. But there she is again, turning around to leave the store, bumped into me yet again~!

Just to make things in perspective, other people simply walked in and out easily without this need to bump into me. Hence, I speculated... could being too thin for your sake means a loss in balance and judgement? Then yesterday while I was waiting in a queue, there is this two really skinny girls behind me. Total strangers, by the way. So they were talking and I realised with goosebumps that one of this girl is leaning real close behind me. If this happened out under the sun, I could perhaps excuse her behaviour as trying to hide under my shadow. Or if this was a guy, then I would easily know that this person is a pervert. But this is a girl and once again, there is plenty of space...

So my friend offered me this little word of advise, explaining to me in a term called the 'gravity' concept. So, stars or planets draws object smaller than them close to them with the use of gravity. In the same way that earth orbits around the sun and the moon around the earth, I somehow have drawn skinny people to orbit close to me. In an inexplicable way, some could not orbit properly and rain like asteroid on me.

In this same analogy, can I also assume that things, good or bad will be drawn naturally to bigger sized people, e.g. attention, wealth and for the wishful few, health? I could only speculate, but in the recent UK grammy award, I could easily pinpoint a good example.

Take it!! Take it!! Take it all... [source: datablog]

So, for those who have come to me mentioning how I should lose weight till the point of underweight, thank you very much, I now know that secretly you are jealous of all the things that get drawn to me. Or plainly you just want less of me in your plain sight. Either way, I am just kidding.

This is after all, a joke post. And if you do not get it, it's alright. Just as things get drawn to bigger things, ideas and thoughts get drawn to bigger brain. lol...

Taylor Swift's concert

047 Taylor Swift - Ours

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This is Taylor Swift's first concert in Australia, so happy to have her here last night. Perth got her when she is at her freshest self, before going to other parts of Australia, how lucky are we?? 

So excited~! What better thing to do in the concert apart from singing to her song and... TAKING PICTURE?!?  So I dig around for the DSLR and found it in a corner, good good... but.. I was so upset that someone misplaced the DSLR's battery pack, so I couldn't have a decent camera to shoot her in her concert~!!

My face when my happiness was dashed when I found the DSLR but couldn't find the charger pack and realize someone didn't return it to me. ;P

This was my first time attending a concert in Burswood dome and I had trouble finding the floor seating on the day I purchased the tickets, turns out I should have purchased it via Iphone. The mobile version of the site is much more user friendly and convenient. So it turns out I bought lousy tickets and with no good camera to zoom, I was so disappointed. But still, I was very excited prior to the concert. I played her songs while doing my make up, trying valiantly to at least sound like a loyal  fan when I attend the concert. 

Going for the country look...

Usher checking our tickets as we watch on in envy at how awesome other ppl's seats are...

When I stepped into the Burswood dome, I knew I have purchased really bad seats. Our seats were on the upper tier. I guess I thought it was the freaking opera or something and if you are on upper balcony or something, it is exclusive. And probably we could watch the singer through a tiny exclusive binoculars, so freaking funny logic. I couldn't have scolded myself more. 

This scene is when Taylor Swift performs on a white grand piano while the violinists performed on a makeshift bridge behind her, it was beautiful. The song was 'Back to December'

Though we are in a dome, the seating arrangement of the stadium was pretty squarish. I guess I was used to the stadium that I have been to and at least the seats were arranged in a circular formation. So we all sat at an angle to have better view of the main stage and the main screens. I find myself thinking how the design of the dome could be further improved to actually maximize audience enjoyment. That is the working mind of an engineer. Just kidding. And the seat arrangement were pretty steep and as I have fear of heights, I kept bending over to see how high we are and imagining myself rolling down. One time I was tempted to, cause Taylor Swift was walking around the dome greeting the fans!! 

My mind : 'Taylor, here I come!' as I rolled down the mass of human heads and stairs and probably fall down and hit her smack in the face. And then probably will get blacklisted and banned from her future concerts. Ok. Not worth the risk. 

As we were kinda late for the opening, we didn't have time to buy those glow sticks and LED light sticks. And as we decided we were too old to prepare posters and all that, we were pretty unprepared for the concert. So my very cute friend poked the person in front of us and asked to buy their glow sticks but they decided to give us for free. So nice~! It was either that or I would then need to wrestle those glow sticks from their hands and as there was limited space, one of us would slip and our bodies goes tumbling down through the mass of human heads. 

Overall, it was a beautiful concert. At the end of the concert, I couldn't believe that 2 hours has come and gone. And I couldn't believe that with my slightly expanded vocabulary, the only words I used was 'Taylor' and a very indistinguishable eeeaaa or was it aaa? No idea, but I swear it was the languages of all concert. Because Taylor would say a joke or ask a question and then we would go eeeaaa or was it aaa and she will tilt her head knowingly. I thought I cheered like a child when I was in the concert, but I was ashamed to say the little girl behind me out scream me any day. The shrill of her voice stuck in my ear and block off the entrance of Taylor's sound wave for a few minutes. Oh yeah, when Taylor went around giving people hi-5 and hugs, I swear all I wanted to do was touch her. Sounds so pervert, I know. :P 

Since I couldn't touch her, I resigned to taking pics with her poster. I assumed that there would be one full blown poster of Taylor outside of the dome on her concert day. But there is none! Man, I was so disappointed. Even Mary Poppins the musical had a few posters~! But I did manage to find a very small screen that shifted between the image of Taylor Swift and other performers in Burswood. And I took pic with that... 

Upper left: me after the concert, still a bit excited but tired. Upper right: Before the concert.
Down: Taylor Swift and her band. 

My pic with her advertisement... 

And that marks the end of my post.

Till next time, 

XOXO