Take an example if someone in your life looks lonely, the old me would so totally make effort to bring this person out, try to engage in more group activity so this person would get to know more friends and give friendly counsel to this person. The old me would make extra effort to ensure that this person feels welcomed, taken care of and loved. But more often than not, I realise the real reason behind their loneliness is selfishness and unwillingness to compromise for the team. And this trait sooner or later makes me loathe them.
Another example is really small thing like someone giving me the finger when they drove past me. The old me would recite a poem of curse words for their and my victim passengers' ears only, except more often than not the other driver would have driven quite faraway by now to even hear a single word of it! My wasted effort! And then the rest of my day would be plagued by that single incident when some dirt bag decided to give me the finger. Pek chek or not?
In reality, good events and bad events alike happens randomly every day of our life. It is in fact our minds that puts meaning and significance to these events. This is where ignorance comes into play. Emotions are sometimes like energy, it moves from one person to another. It is great if we are talking about joy and happiness but then I am talking about anger, resentment and frustration. By being ignorant to these feelings, I am putting up a firewall from downloading these negative emotions from the other person.
Take an example of the driver who gave me the finger.. the main purpose of giving me the finger would be to pass on his/her frustration and resentment unto me. If I ignore this action and perhaps laugh instead, the resentment is passed back to their court. Thinking about this gives me total bliss. I did this once, and the female driver's eyes almost pop out of her head trying to give me the evil eye which makes me laugh even harder.
 |
| (Image source) |
There will always be someone out there who tell you you can't. When we were younger, it was our parents limiting us because they wanted the best for us. As we grow up, it would be our teachers or the general community telling us what we can't do and where we should stand. Heck... my primary school years were terrible because teachers had a hard time 'breaking me into the education system'. One time, a teacher got so mad during a misunderstanding and scolded me and my friend. He told me if we cried, he would stop yelling at us (mental a not? close neighbour some more) and I ignored his request (the other girl did cry infact, so fake but he syok... mental kan?). Then he screamed some more then I ignored him some more. Then he screamed even more and called me rubbish. Cruel... cruel words from a mere teacher who teaches 10 years old kids then and who is STILL teaching small kids to this day (Never could say 'hi' to him afterwards cause it just seems like a mental person!!).
Some are good la, like don't smoke don't take drugs etc etc... But others are just so plain ... (can't find a word for it, you just know it when you hear it). If you have a dream that doesn't hurt the people around you, isn't illegal and doesn't break any ethical or religious view, shouldn't you have the freedom to do it? And if you have a sincere opinion that is different from others, shouldn't you have the right to express it? And in the event that it really is impossible, shouldn't you have the freedom to try and fail instead of never trying at all? When Galileo said the earth is round, did he not receive the backlash from his then community? But you will never have this freedom until you begin to ignore the negativity these people pour on you. When Thomas Edison was busy working with his creations, he did a lot to ignore the negativity around him!
Just wanna share this short video about a mum who ignored other people's harsh words and focus on what she love and appreciate. Ignore those people who fails to inspire her and tried to bring her down and focus on those who inspires her and how much she can gain... *So touching... Sniff*
Sometimes pursuit of perfection is the reason behind our misery and frustration. I find that the pursuit of perfection in workplace is alright but when this invades your expectations in relationship, that is when you try to control the other person. It doesn't matter what they wanted, what they needed (in my opinion) is what matters. Although I see how flawed or lonely their judgement could be and how logic and so-totally-relevant my counsels are, more often than not the messenger gets shot.
Once I tried to break up some friends who were so wrong for each other, the more I try to resist the more they persist. How many nights have I stayed awake fretting about their current condition? And then when I ignore them, that is when some of them breaks up on their own accord because you know what... their pressing issues are so OBVIOUS! So the best way is ignore, ignore those negative feelings of pity, loathe, resentment, anger, and frustration and focus on the happiness, camaraderie, comfort, and love. Sometimes the lonely person I mentioned is left alone while I pursue more meaningful and inspiring friendship. Sometimes this means I let these people continue on their lousy relationship without uttering another word and then watch as they suffer terrible heartache when their relationship fails and this may strike me as cruel but guess what? Sometimes the simplest lesson must be taught without the teacher, we can advise, nag and lecture with whatever might or however long we can but the person would not listen and may start to resent us. Like advising someone about cutting down on their intake of coke is going to fall on deaf ears, maybe they need this one time when their health is slightly affected to understand the good intention behind those words. They need those heart break to realise what to look for in a relationship. Releasing your control on the situation and start trusting God in His infinite wisdom.
But there are also times when ignorance will bring our downfall, like those who never listen to my advise. *Evil laughters* 'I told you so' was never a pleasant thing to hear after a heartbreak. So use ignorance sparingly...
So till next time,
XOXO
Once I tried to break up some friends who were so wrong for each other, the more I try to resist the more they persist. How many nights have I stayed awake fretting about their current condition? And then when I ignore them, that is when some of them breaks up on their own accord because you know what... their pressing issues are so OBVIOUS! So the best way is ignore, ignore those negative feelings of pity, loathe, resentment, anger, and frustration and focus on the happiness, camaraderie, comfort, and love. Sometimes the lonely person I mentioned is left alone while I pursue more meaningful and inspiring friendship. Sometimes this means I let these people continue on their lousy relationship without uttering another word and then watch as they suffer terrible heartache when their relationship fails and this may strike me as cruel but guess what? Sometimes the simplest lesson must be taught without the teacher, we can advise, nag and lecture with whatever might or however long we can but the person would not listen and may start to resent us. Like advising someone about cutting down on their intake of coke is going to fall on deaf ears, maybe they need this one time when their health is slightly affected to understand the good intention behind those words. They need those heart break to realise what to look for in a relationship. Releasing your control on the situation and start trusting God in His infinite wisdom.
 |
| (Image source) |
But there are also times when ignorance will bring our downfall, like those who never listen to my advise. *Evil laughters* 'I told you so' was never a pleasant thing to hear after a heartbreak. So use ignorance sparingly...
So till next time,
XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment