My gosh, I feel so relieved that I will only have one wedding throughout my entire life.
It seems like my years of events management, conflict resolution and anger management has been put to THE test all in one bundle for one single event.
Ok, not that bad la...
I guess every single girl have this image of the ideal wedding in their mind. (I wonder who planted it in our mind. Perhaps the works of the same bunch of people who had also cashed in on commercializing events like Christmas or Easter.) But now I know for fact that every single person have this image of the ideal wedding and they will ensure that you know about it one way or another.
So, wedding prep started off pretty easy, I think. I had the leisure of doing things slowly like choosing the musics, the wedding favors and thinking of who to invite to my wedding. I was getting the hang of calling companies up and getting quotation and thinking of where and what of the wedding.
I had this sweet idea of giving personalized fortune cookie within cute double-happiness boxes as wedding favors. I was so happy with it that I was feeling quite confident that everything would turn out fine.
I created an event in FB and waited as friends and family members leave messages on whether they would come or not. I thought whoever didn't reply my messages wouldn't actually bothered to come so I confidently reported the numbers and we confirmed the number of tables with the hotel.
I had the fright of my life when suddenly people who didn't confirm suddenly told me they were coming. Don't get me wrong, I am touched but I was a bit frantic at that point that my list was a bit messy. (Perhaps more annoyed is the fact that people who told me they were coming didn't bothered to and I see empty tables, it breaks my heart. Y u no say u no come? )
Then a fortnight into our wedding, a chinese fortune teller told us (based on a book) that our wedding date isn't auspicious and if we stick to that date, our marriage would break and/or my womb would grow spiderweb (if you get what I mean). I was upset and close to tears as I imagined the horrors and pain of changing plan at such a short period of time. At the same time, I was enraged as I couldn't for the life of me understand what did he based his readings on as he didn't even bothered to get our birth dates. Tell me, is that normal?!?
So, wedding prep started off pretty easy, I think. I had the leisure of doing things slowly like choosing the musics, the wedding favors and thinking of who to invite to my wedding. I was getting the hang of calling companies up and getting quotation and thinking of where and what of the wedding.
I had this sweet idea of giving personalized fortune cookie within cute double-happiness boxes as wedding favors. I was so happy with it that I was feeling quite confident that everything would turn out fine.
I created an event in FB and waited as friends and family members leave messages on whether they would come or not. I thought whoever didn't reply my messages wouldn't actually bothered to come so I confidently reported the numbers and we confirmed the number of tables with the hotel.
I had the fright of my life when suddenly people who didn't confirm suddenly told me they were coming. Don't get me wrong, I am touched but I was a bit frantic at that point that my list was a bit messy. (Perhaps more annoyed is the fact that people who told me they were coming didn't bothered to and I see empty tables, it breaks my heart. Y u no say u no come? )
Then a fortnight into our wedding, a chinese fortune teller told us (based on a book) that our wedding date isn't auspicious and if we stick to that date, our marriage would break and/or my womb would grow spiderweb (if you get what I mean). I was upset and close to tears as I imagined the horrors and pain of changing plan at such a short period of time. At the same time, I was enraged as I couldn't for the life of me understand what did he based his readings on as he didn't even bothered to get our birth dates. Tell me, is that normal?!?
In the end, I managed to negotiate a separate and smaller event on another auspicious date so on our pre-determined wedding date, we could still have our wedding banquet and the game ceremony in the morning. Everyone was still shaky of the scare and tried to talk me out of the game ceremony and all that on our pre-determined-now-cursed date (technically, that day is my birthday too. So, wtf??ｏ( ><)o My birthday is cursed??), I was so upset that I made hubby promised that if one day my womb grow spiderweb he will still love me. Thank God, he said the right words. lol... Or I would have staged my own version of run away bride.
As the date has now been pulled forward, I had to speed up my preparation and what not. Step one on the list was cleaning out my old family house. It has been left unattended for quite some time and the dust layer was so amazing that I had skin eczema the first day I tried to clear my stuff away.
I think the construction opposite my house didn't help too. It was so horrible I managed to hire a maid to clean it for one day and poor girl sneezed the first few hours, I felt so bad. Luckily for me too, my sisters came back few days afterwards and help cleaned it some more.
The second thing on my list would be the traditional decors! I had such a hard time making peace with purchasing stuff I didn't like for a one time event that I can't throw away or reuse afterwards. For example, according to tradition, the bride has to bring chicken into the groom's house during the wedding day. The tradition has now changed to allow us to bring the chicken statue instead. Honestly, I don't see any improvement at all about this. Imagine paying RM160+ for statue of chicken that cannot be eaten (I think live chicken cheaper some more!) and according to the shopkeeper I cannot throw away and I cannot let anyone reuse it (consumerism at its best). In order to make me listen, she had thrown in the scare of spiderweb-laden-womb for safety measure. (Me shaking my fist at her (＃｀д´)ﾉ )
The other thing that a bride needs to bring over is a set of new toiletries, which includes the face towels, towel set, face basin and the omg-so-ugly urinal pot. I'd hate to interject at this point that I live elsewhere and I would never (in any right mind) bring these things to my place and paying RM300+ for set of reddish colour toiletries is probably big sign someone is ripping me off. When the shop assistant pulled out the baby bathtub, I was at my limit and while no one else was looking, I rudely waved her away.
It is totally against my principle to buy stuff I know I would never use, even the thought of letting other people use or giving it away was quickly hushed by elders that I felt like a sucker consumer being sucked into mindless tradition. I believe that in olden days people are poorer and not everyone would be able to afford new set of toiletries for each newly weds, right? It would have probably been borrowed or passed down, right? So tell me, can anyone even traced the belief that you can't pass on or borrow these stuff?? I totally believe these are mainly stuff the shopkeeper made up to ensure continuous business.
Then the wedding dress hunt! Everyone assured me that it would be easy for me to find the right dress that I actually confidently pushed it to a month before my wedding. Since I took a bridal package from a bridal studio as well, the owner told me not to choose the dress too early because he would have a new batch of wedding dress by a few months time. So I was disappointed to find not only limited wedding dress but also dresses that were obviously worn old.
I think I might have tried on 20-25 gowns before we finally decided on a white gown and a dinner gown. We eventually hunted outside of the bridal studio we had a contract with and had to pay extra. Luckily my sisters were closed by, because I would totally have decided to wear the ugly dresses and just forget this day ever existed. Luckily, they also allowed us to take pic of the gown so we could have more time festering on which gown looked better. But it is really a strenuous time if you leave it to the last month especially when everything else is also threatening to change.
Preparation was hell I have to admit and there were nights I couldn't get enough sleep and I grew restless, cranky and lost my appetite. It didn't help that everyone was pouring in and pushing their opinion over, I want to thank you all for trying to help. I can now say that I see that elders want us to follow certain traditions because they want the best for us ( and not have spider-web womb, wtf!). I hope you know that I may not agree, but I do it for your peace of mind. And I can also comprehend that something uttered were mainly because they wanted me to have a memorable wedding... and I know you all love me and me you too. So thank you.
As the date has now been pulled forward, I had to speed up my preparation and what not. Step one on the list was cleaning out my old family house. It has been left unattended for quite some time and the dust layer was so amazing that I had skin eczema the first day I tried to clear my stuff away.
The second thing on my list would be the traditional decors! I had such a hard time making peace with purchasing stuff I didn't like for a one time event that I can't throw away or reuse afterwards. For example, according to tradition, the bride has to bring chicken into the groom's house during the wedding day. The tradition has now changed to allow us to bring the chicken statue instead. Honestly, I don't see any improvement at all about this. Imagine paying RM160+ for statue of chicken that cannot be eaten (I think live chicken cheaper some more!) and according to the shopkeeper I cannot throw away and I cannot let anyone reuse it (consumerism at its best). In order to make me listen, she had thrown in the scare of spiderweb-laden-womb for safety measure. (Me shaking my fist at her (＃｀д´)ﾉ )
The other thing that a bride needs to bring over is a set of new toiletries, which includes the face towels, towel set, face basin and the omg-so-ugly urinal pot. I'd hate to interject at this point that I live elsewhere and I would never (in any right mind) bring these things to my place and paying RM300+ for set of reddish colour toiletries is probably big sign someone is ripping me off. When the shop assistant pulled out the baby bathtub, I was at my limit and while no one else was looking, I rudely waved her away.
It is totally against my principle to buy stuff I know I would never use, even the thought of letting other people use or giving it away was quickly hushed by elders that I felt like a sucker consumer being sucked into mindless tradition. I believe that in olden days people are poorer and not everyone would be able to afford new set of toiletries for each newly weds, right? It would have probably been borrowed or passed down, right? So tell me, can anyone even traced the belief that you can't pass on or borrow these stuff?? I totally believe these are mainly stuff the shopkeeper made up to ensure continuous business.
Then the wedding dress hunt! Everyone assured me that it would be easy for me to find the right dress that I actually confidently pushed it to a month before my wedding. Since I took a bridal package from a bridal studio as well, the owner told me not to choose the dress too early because he would have a new batch of wedding dress by a few months time. So I was disappointed to find not only limited wedding dress but also dresses that were obviously worn old.
Preparation was hell I have to admit and there were nights I couldn't get enough sleep and I grew restless, cranky and lost my appetite. It didn't help that everyone was pouring in and pushing their opinion over, I want to thank you all for trying to help. I can now say that I see that elders want us to follow certain traditions because they want the best for us ( and not have spider-web womb, wtf!). I hope you know that I may not agree, but I do it for your peace of mind. And I can also comprehend that something uttered were mainly because they wanted me to have a memorable wedding... and I know you all love me and me you too. So thank you.
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